After becoming a cat parent I realized these things about them.

Plan to take over the country with the highest currency. Learn all the secrets of the realms of good and evil. Plan on buying another person’s life as a decoy in case things go south and get tricky in the beginning. Master the tequnie of reading lips but watching the eyes. Buy the fastest assembly line with the currency you have gained control of by your own mind over matter it doesn’t matter attitude. Become one with winning flesh over sin arts. Adjust your breathing skills by advancing your cardiovascular system with parcore. Start working on the project goodenberg with your k 9 Unit. Let your one sharp claw let the world know it was that that caused the great and powerful boat the Titanic to sink… It was your decedents mighty powerful claw that caused the Hindenburg balloon disaster. You’re not messing around…

Learn to stop crapping on the carpet. Cough up hairballs on the carpet instead of the hard wood floors. Flexible, not perfect! Become ‘the cat’ everybody dreams of. Sharpen your claws on the new couch’s arm rest, then be in bed by your human by 10:30 for nip and fish. This is the life and times of what living with a cat consists of.

Cats are so random.